What We Lost
Your mother called me yesterday
To tell me that she found my keys.
The ones you told me you had lost. Or so you say.
When I learned that you had decided not to stay,
I thought it was because of me.
Then your mother called me yesterday
to ask me why you went away,
and tell me that she found the box, beneath the tree,
the one you told me you had lost. Or so you say.
I found some pieces of the past you may
remember. Photos of us, and the ring you gave me.
That’s why your mother called me yesterday.
She was hoping I could, in some way
explain; I told her: he never even returned my keys.
(The ones you told me you had lost. Or so you say.)
I went back and stood beneath the tree today.
I asked if it remembered and I fell to my knees
after your mother called me yesterday
about the things you told me you had lost. Or so you say.
*This is part of the Weekly Writing Challenge.*
Also, bonus points to anyone who can identify the form of this poem in the comments.
Hmm … I’m going to guess villanelle? And then congratulate you on being Freshly Pressed!
It is indeed a villanelle. And thank you very much! Hope you enjoyed reading!
It reminded me of Roethke’s “The Waking,” which is the only other one I know (by heart, actually).
Impressive! I’m not familiar with that particular poem, but I will definitely give it a read (or five). And I must say I take it as a huge compliment to have anything I’ve written remind you of Roethke. Thanks!
Courageous.
Thank you!
Congrats to you!! I recognized the villanelle form, your talent awes me. I wrote one once, about a Hershey bar, so lame
Toni
Thank you so much for the compliment! And I think a villanelle about Hershey bar could be wonderful. I am tempted to write my own now. Thanks for reading!
I enjoyed this poem, and congrats for freshly pressed 2nd time as well
I’m so glad you enjoyed reading it. It was fun to write. And thank you! It is pretty exciting.
I really enjoyed this villanelle with a cup of reheated coffee!
Haha! Glad to hear it. Thanks for reading!
I love your poem!
Thank you very much! Glad to hear you liked it!
Beautiful
Thank you!
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Thanks for the reblog!
this, I like.
Glad to hear that!
Well you had me at the name itself (reheated coffee, it’s a thing we do, me and my mum). Then I read the first stanza, and you had me hook, line and sinker. I remember reading Theocritus and Dylan Thomas’ Do not go gentle into that night, and telling myself that I would attempt to write one too. I don’t think anyone could’ve written it in such a lilting and darkly resonating manner as you did. Bravo!!
Wow! Thank you so much. It’s so wonderful to hear that. And you should give writing a villanelle another shot. I find the restrictions kind of a fun challenge.
They are! Try counting up and etherees. They are quite fun to figure out!
cute
Thank you!
nice nice really!
lovely poem indeed.
http://www.geeznblogged.wordpress.com
Thank you! Thanks for reading!
no words really nice.
will surely read the ones you have written previously.
Wonderful poem. I’m kind of interested in writing poems again. Thanks for writing this.
Thank you for reading it. You should absolutely give writing poems another shot. I stopped writing for a bit and then started again and I remembered how much I missed it.
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I’m glad I could help you learn about villanelles. It’s a very fun form of poetry, and it was a nice challenge to write it. Thanks for the mention! It’s such a treat when others want to share my poetry. Thanks for reading!!!
Great post! I like it. I follow you now, my name is Carlos, if you would like to know about Surfski (Ocean Paddling) follow us back!
Cheers
It is a beautiful piece! Good stuff!
Thanks so much for reading!
Hmm, that’s a pretty good poem!
I love the way your blog looks, by the way. Very simple and cosy.
Thank you! I spent a lot of time playing with the layout.
What a nice poem to wake up to:)
Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading!
It’s good to see a refreshing poem once in a while.
Thank you! And thanks for reading
Beautiful work…
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Thanks for the mention!
why there always the mother in law..
get rid of her…
hehehehe
It’s not necessarily a mother-in-law. But that’s one way to interpret it
This was beautiful. I could identify with it.
Thank you! I’m glad you could relate. Thanks for reading!
This is a wonderful read. One great Villanelle.
Thanks for sharing. I’m happy to find another poet on wordpress.
Love & Peace,
Lila
Thanks for reading. It is always nice to meet other poets. Glad you enjoyed it!
very very nice…
Thank you!
What would be really interesting is writing a reply in villanelle form!
Ooh! A challenge! I’ve been waning to write another villanelle (I actually wrote this a while ago and just touched it up to post), but was a bit stuck. Perhaps I’ll make a series of villanelles that all respond to each other.
That would be pretty wild!
I remember creating a villanelle for one of my poetry classes in college and had a blast. It’s a real exercise of the mind and poetic voice.
This is really fantastic! I typically don’t read many poetry blogs (because I don’t often find them done well), but this was really really incredible and worth the read!
Cheers to you,
Courtney Hosny
http://www.oneweektocrazy.com
Thank you! I’m glad I could change your mind about poetry blogs. And I write other things as well, poetry is just something extra I’ve started throwing in. Thanks for reading!
That was beautiful. It was haunting and I love poetry that leaves me with an image and a corresponding feeling of emotions. Loved it
Thank you so much! I really enjoyed writing this poem and it’s always nice to have readers who appreciate my work.
reheated coffee… it’s so gross tasting… but I do it all the time for the caffeine…
Well at least you didn’t name a blog after your bad habit
Reblogged this on Anchoring Hope.
Thanks for the reblog!
This is a great poem.
Thank you!
Reblogged this on basement waterproofing.
Thanks for the reblog! I’m glad you enjoyed reading.